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10 reviews with 1 stars
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31%
 
63%
Overall rating
 
1.5
Appearance
 
1.2(16)
Louche
 
1.7(16)
Aroma
 
1.8(16)
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.6(16)
Finish
 
1.5(16)
Overall
 
1.3(16)
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Surprisingly Bad
(Updated: October 29, 2024)
Overall rating
 
1.4
Appearance
 
1.0
Louche
 
2.0
Aroma
 
1.0
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.0
Finish
 
2.0
Overall
 
1.5
I got a bottle of this a while ago from a friend who knows I like absinthe. A nice thought, and appreciated as such, but now I'm torn. Revealing my true thoughts after sampling the gift would risk insult; not to do so risks it becoming an annual tradition. I can usually find something positive to enjoy in any food, wine, or absinthe. This product strains that ability.

Appearance: Blue. As in, the blue of Scope mouthwash. Electric blue, of the sort you'd find in the specialty box of novelty crayons. The bottle was somewhat creatively designed, at least, if one wishes to count that toward the single point it scores for appearance.

Louche: Yes, it did louche. Poorly, but once coaxed into it, the louche was at least full and milky bluish-white, of a color not nearly as offensive as its original state.

Aroma: The theme of Scope mouthwash continues, without much exaggeration. I wouldn't have been able to even detect that it was intended to be an absinthe substitute.

Flavor/mouthfeel: This is where the title of this review comes in. Truly, surprisingly bad. Disappointing. When drinking beer, I appreciate nearly any old beer for what it is - not every beer needs to be my favorite homebrew. I feel the same about absinthe, but found it difficult to appreciate anything about this abomination. It tasted and felt much like it looked and smelled - like mouthwash. Fine, if I wanted mouthwash, but not so good for something I was about to drink.

Finish: Some moderate improvement. Once swallowed, a hint of minty freshness lingered as if I had just rinsed with - you guessed it - Scope mouthwash. Not much in the way of unpleasant aftertaste, but not what I would expect from absinthe or even an absinthe substitute.

Overall: Poor. I wanted to like it, if for no better reason than it was a gift and I had noticed that it seemed readily available locally. I'll save the pretty bottle, but not its contents.

While I may be a "glass is half full" sort, I'd rather this particular glass remain empty or be refilled - and imbibed - by someone other than myself. Preferably not someone who wants to actually enjoy his or her drink.
B
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Electric Turquoise Eulogy
(Updated: October 29, 2024)
Overall rating
 
1.0
Appearance
 
1.0
Louche
 
1.0
Aroma
 
1.0
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.0
Finish
 
1.0
Overall
 
1.0
Le Toilet Vert
Oh how you hurt
Aquamarine is your hue
With verte
You have nothing to do

Your vision is clear
Even when water is near
Nothing will cloud your day
It's not
Really a good thing to say

You smell of booze
So it's hard to choose
What to write down
because
I'm wearing a frown

You taste like eucalyptus
What the #*&$ is with this?
Absinthe is made with wormwood
And yet
You display nothing you should

I can't wait for you to finish
And quickly you do diminish
Cleanly you disappear
Not warm
And thankfully not here

I find you are no longer made
Even your memory will fade
So I deliver this eulogy
because
You made a fool of me.
E
Top 10 Reviewer 62 reviews
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"Tourment" is accurate, but Vert certainly is not.
(Updated: October 29, 2024)
Overall rating
 
1.3
Appearance
 
1.0
Louche
 
1.0
Aroma
 
2.0
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.0
Finish
 
2.0
Overall
 
1.0
Color: It's a lovely teal color...but not if you're claiming to be a green absinthe.

Louche: It TRIES to louche. It really does.

Aroma: Tingly alcohol scent.

Flavor: It can really be described best as "EUCALYPTUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It's intense. And it burns.

Finish: Not nearly fast enough. I suppose in it's defense, it's a fresh, clean, bad finish instead of a swampy, warm, bad finish.

Overall: I've been trained to try to drink all of what's put in front of me, as there are sober children in Africa. It was difficult with this one. There have been few other alcoholic drinks that have been this wince-inducingly bad. That said, most of the bottle was drank, partly because there wasn't much else in the house and it was a near-palatable summer drink, partly because I knew something nice(r) could be bought once the suffering was over.
A
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These people can't be serious
(Updated: October 29, 2024)
Overall rating
 
1.3
Appearance
 
1.0
Louche
 
2.0
Aroma
 
2.0
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.0
Finish
 
1.0
Overall
 
1.0
This infuriates me. The word absinthe has no place on this attractive bottle full of bad mouthwash.

The color may as well come out of a bottle of scope, which by the way tastes better than this, and claims in no way to be absinthe.

As far as aroma, it is a portent of things to come. Things I didn't want. I had no sense that this would resemble absinthe in any way. It smelled like another concoction, and one that some might enjoy, just not me.

Flavor. Yikes. alcohol, bad mint-like touches, after-shave, chemicals and confusion.
It in fact might pass as a different drink, and rate better. As an absinthe however, a 1 is fair.

Louche was thin, but it almost happened. A weak cloud formed.

Finish. Yes, it almost finished me. I simply can't think of anything to say here.

Overall, this is an insult to absinthe. Call it anything else for the love of God, but not absinthe. I can actually imagine people drinking this and enjoying it. Sad, but true. What was it P. T. Barnum said? Not one person in the room was able to drink more than a sip or two. They were being generous.
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Skin Bracer
(Updated: October 29, 2024)
Overall rating
 
1.0
Appearance
 
1.0
Louche
 
1.0
Aroma
 
1.0
Flavor / Mouthfeel
 
1.0
Finish
 
1.0
Overall
 
1.0
Color:
The label lists dyes, and the blue is off putting.

Louche:
Limp, and barely noticeable.

Aroma:
Smells like old man's cologne. I seriously thought this was a gag product.

Taste:
Like an old man's cologne. It tastes like it smells, and reinforced my thinking it was a gag product.

Finish:
My palate isn't as refined as others, but I couldn't go past 2 sips.

Overall:
I'm still believing this is a gag gift, and was intended as a cheap man's cologne for people who want to feel like their living dangerously. I wish there was a '0' ratings option.
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