Reviews written by A Medicine For Misery
|Flavor / Mouthfeel||1.0|
La Fee Bohemian
COLOR NOTES:The color isn't entirely repulsive but would certainly be more appropriate in costume jewelry or sour apple hard candy: in the sample bottle the shade is aggressive; when poured into a shot glass it thins a bit but flattens out as well so that the green notes become more evident.
LOUCHE NOTES: There is no louche at all. No clouds, no trails or fog, nada, just some amorphous blobs of burnt sugar swirling when I stir.
AROMA NOTES: High sharp alcohol notes before the addition of water. There is an underlying scent that seems maddeningly familiar but just out of reach....is it menthol? It isn't easy to isolate due to the overpowering booze-fumes singeing my goatee.
After water the scent grows in reach and offensiveness. I have to give it a 2 because there is more than just alcohol present, but what has been added is frightening. I am very scared to taste it, especially after the addition of caramelized sugar.
FLAVOR NOTES: Astonishingly awful. The aroma didn't properly prepare me for what was to come: I was so shocked I actually spat the first mouthful into the sink after just a few seconds. I had to psych myself up for the second drink the way people run and jump into cold water. The second was even worse than the first because I swallowed it, which allowed the harsh finish to completely coat the inside of my mouth and surface of my tongue. This is by far the most disgusting alcohol I have ever personally tasted, and that includes things like MD2020, which I used to swill during early delinquency. Who in their right mind would pay money for this? I can taste absolutely no anise, fennel or wormwood in this drink. Unfortunately there is no score for zero, so I must give it 1 point.
FINISH NOTES: Thank god I am finished.
OVERALL NOTES: La Fee sent along a set of matches, spoon (shorter and more round than the French, with no holes but a little pinup devil girl painted in the bowl) and sugar, all with strict instructions on how to burn, water and consume. I decided to take them at their word and follow the directions. Now I understand why there are so many Youtube videos of fratboys on fire: it takes a full two minutes for the alcohol to finish burning in the spoon; of course, if you dropped it in the glass before that the entire thing would ignite in your face. Even after adding water and stirring vigorously there is a small island of burnt sugar swirling in the bottom of the glass.
I am not sure why anyone, let alone the reasonably savvy (or so I had assumed until this moment) marketers at La Fee would send out samples of this for free: after trying it no one would ever want to buy it. This isn't even decent swill, let alone decent absinth(e). It could cure alcoholism: you'll never want to drink again.